Life is Not Fair

Some people teach that you can achieve anything if you want badly enough. While there is some truth to this, it is much harder for some than it is for others. 

Take the case of Kali Rufus, who experienced sexual and physical abuse as a child.  Between the ages of 11 and 16 he was placed in 10 different foster homes.  This experience left deep scars. In his teens Rufus made bad choices, if you can call the actions of a troubled teenager with no food a choice.  Rufus sold his body to men willing to exploit him.  

There were some lights in Rufus’ life: Some teachers and social workers encouraged him: With their support Rufus graduated from Grade 12.  The local social workers gave him a graduation present – a copy of Dr. Seuss’s book “Oh, the Places You’ll Go.”  Then these supportive people were gone from his life as he aged out of the foster care system.   

Rufus is now 21 years old. The place Rufus ended up was Vancouver’s downtown eastside where he has spent more than one night sleeping on a pew at First United Church.  He calls Crystal Meth his best friend.  Rufus believes his life might have turned out differently if there had been supportive adults in his life after he left Grade 12. Most 18-21 year olds continue to have supportive adults in their life after they graduate from high school. 

Rufus writes poetry to help deal with the deep wounds that remain in his life.  The wounds are not just on his psyche.  As a teenager Rufus dealt with emotional pain by cutting himself. 

The following poem was shown beside a picture of his scarred arm in the Vancouver Sun on February 22^nd, 2014 in an article written by Lori Culbert. 

Every scar has deep meaning
Deep cuts
on the heart
the soul
Remembering times of harsh reality
the present and past
Times being unfaithful
Times being unforgiving
to ourselves and others
Leaving deep gashes
unhealed wounds
That lie deep inside oneself
like cracks in the cement streets
No time for healing
Overlook emotions
Try to forget them
As if it never happened
The scars of now
Homelessness
Welfare
Addictions
The pain you present
Shows in your eyes
Deep pain
Of mistrust and misuse
Does someone see my scars? 
Or are they hidden deep inside.
                Kaki Rufus – published in the Vancouver Sun Feb. 22^nd, 2014

The next time you see a homeless person on the street take a moment to wonder what their story is.  Ask yourself if there is anything you can do to prevent other children from going through what Rufus has.  Ask yourself if there are things you can do to help the adult who carries this wounded child within themselves.  

One of the ways I have helped is to listen to people share their fifth step in the AA program.  I have marveled at how much some people have survived.  Some have battled with demons most of us cannot begin to imagine.   It is a testament to the quality of their hero’s quest that they have chosen to face the past and try to stop it from controlling the present and the future.  They are true heroes in my eyes.  They inspire me by their decision to move beyond the injustices done to them.  They inspire me to renewed effort in my own hero’s quest of self-discovery and change.  My quest is not as hard as theirs and for that I am thankful.