Monday 6 August 2018

Everyone Gets Angry, Even God

A message like this was preached at Hope United Church on July 15th. Please excuse any spelling and grammar mistakes you find. 

Everyone gets angry. Even God. In scripture we are told that the 'The LORD is slow to anger, and abounding in steadfast love, forgiving iniquity and transgression. God is slow to anger, but according to scriptures, God does get angry.  Jesus got angry. Who can doubt that Jesus was angry as he used a whip to throw the money changers and their animals out of the temple. 

To ask whether anger is good or bad is like asking whether hunger is good or bad. It simply is.  What is good or bad is what we do with it. Aristotle was a wise man. One lengthy sentence of his probably says more helpful things about anger than any other in print.  Anyone can become angry, that is easy; but to be angry with the right person, to the right degree, at the right time, for the right purpose and in the right way, Aristotle says, is not easy.  

Contrary to what many people think anger in and of itself is not a sin. In its right place anger is a useful emotion. There are many social programs that got their start because someone was first made angry by injustice or oppression or the unnecessary suffering of some of God’s children. Anger rightly directed has often been the catalyst for change. The bible tells us to be angry, but sin not. That is the hard part.  There are few things that lead us as quickly to sin, as anger. It's almost like a reflex action. We get angry, we sin against God, and against other people. 

The bible tells us not to let the sun go down on our anger. If we keep anger in our heart it is terribly destructive. If psychologists were asked to name the two major sources of unnecessary human suffering, they would likely name fear and anger. They form the basis for most of our unhappiness. Therefore, our mental health demands that we take steps to free ourselves from the destructive power of these two emotions. It demands that we learn to forgive and set ourselves free from the power of anger and hate.  When we hold onto anger, the person we are angry at does not suffer, but we sure do.  I’ve experienced this in my own life. I’ve had some sleepless nights because of anger. 

I had a vivid example of what happens when anger takes up permanent residence in someone’s life when I worked at Central United.  A drifter named Dave came into my office and we talked for about an hour. I asked Dave if I could tell others his story and he said yes. Dave had recently been released from jail.  He had been in prison for violence against his girlfriend's daughter. Dave told me that he did not want to stay downtown in the hostels because they were too violent. I suspected that Dave had likely been banned because he was the one who was too violent.  The roots of Dave's current problem began in his family of origin.  His alcoholic father would beat his mother and when he finished with her, beat him. Dave said he hated his father. He also hated his older brother who Dave said believed himself to be superior. Dave said: It didn't matter what I did, my brother could always do it better, and I hated him for it.  

Dave had written a poem when he was a young man which he still remembered.  He shared it with me as we talked.  I asked him to write it down so I could share it with others.  Please listen:
         If I be a man of hate
         Let the world stay from my gate
         Let me live my life alone
         with a heart as hard as stone.  

         But if I be a man of God
         let me spread joy where're I trod
         let me love my fellow man
         and live my life as best I can

         Then heaven's gate shall open wide
         To show where peace and joy abide.

Dave was in touch with a profound truth. Joy and peace comes to that person who loves, but alludes those who hate. That person who holds onto anger until it freezes into hate will certainly end up isolated from others and very much alone. 

As Dave shared this poem with me, he realized that he had become a man of hate and that he did live his life alone with a heart as hard as stone. There was no one who cared for him and no one who shared his life.  

Dave is an extreme example. However, I can almost guarantee that there are people in the congregation today whose lives have been adversely affected by an anger that you have not been able to let go of.  There are likely people here today who have broken relationships within an extended family member or with someone who was once a friend. All of us likely know people who do not have peace of mind, but experience a great deal of inner conflict and suffering because they have held onto anger and been unwilling to forgive. 

In the gospels Jesus tells us a parable of a servant who is forgiven a great debt by the king.  He goes out and meets someone who owes him a much smaller debt.  He refuses to forgive.  The king hears about it and throws him into prison where he is tortured. Those who refuse to forgive and hold onto anger still enter into a prison of the mind where they experience torment.  Forgiveness is a requirement for peace of mind and heart.  Some might say; but you don't know what I've gone through.  It is not possible to forgive. Perhaps it would help if we first state what forgiveness is not.  Forgiveness is not overlooking the wrong or saying that what happened was not of consequence.  Forgiveness is not excusing the wrong. It's not saying that what happened was O.K., because sometimes it was not O.K.  Sometimes it was very wrong and you have good reason to be angry.   Forgiveness is honestly facing the wrong and the hurt and the pain.  It is facing the anger and the resentment that we carry, and recognizing it's destructive power in our lives.  It is choosing to let go of hurt and resentment.  It is choosing to be free from any desire to see the other suffer as we suffer.  

I always know that I am coming close to truly forgiving when I can pray for the person who hurt me without hidden agenda's and just ask God to bless that person.   Sometimes the deed done was so terrible, and/or the hurt so deep and/or the anger so entrenched that it seems impossible to ever be free of it.  However we are not without help.  We can call on Jesus and ask for God's help to do what we cannot do on our own. All that is required at this moment is that we are willing to be made willing and are open to the work that God would do.  Many people speak of the power of God, which enabled them to do what they believed was impossible.  Corrie ten Boon and her sister Nollie found this to be true. Their family hid Jews during the Second World War.  They were betrayed by two of their Dutch countrymen.  After the war, the two men were taking into custody and put on trial for their part in what happened to the ten Boon's and to the others they betrayed. Nollie ten Boon wrote to the two men, and told them that in spite of the fact that their betrayal led to great suffering for Nollie and Corrie, as well as to the death of their father, sister, brother and nephew, she and Corrie had forgiven them.  

I have my doubts whether it is possible to forgive such hurt in our human strength. We need a power greater than our own; we need the power of God. 

Rosamond E. Herklots expressed how important it was to forgive in a hymn:
         Forgive our sins as we forgive,
         You taught us, Lord to pray
         But you alone can grant us grace
         to live the words we say.
         How can your pardon reach and bless
         The unforgiving heart
         That broods on wrongs and will not let
         Old bitterness depart?
         In blazing light your cross reveals
         the truth we dimly knew
         what trivial debts are owed to us
         how great our debt to you.


Several years ago I was at a conference.  I sat down next to a man and we began to talk. He had recently been through a painful divorce.  For the first time in his life he was coming to terms with how growing up under the control of an abusive father had affected and still was affecting his life.  As we talked it became clear to me that not only did he have problems with his father, but he was also angry at God.  I shared with him my belief that sometimes we need to forgive God. Was it God's fault that his father was abusive?  No, his father, like all of us, was a wounded man, but he was also a man who had a free will and choices to make.  Was it God's fault that his marriage broke down?  No, both partners had free will and had made choices.  However, knowing that did not change the fact of the man's feelings. He felt that God had let him down and he was angry that God would allow him to experience such a terrible thing. 

It is a scary thing to be angry at God. It is difficult to acknowledge that the anger is there, even to ourselves. However, when we have hidden anger it affects our relationships.  It puts a distance between ourselves and others. Some people need to forgive God.  Has God actually done something wrong that needs to be forgiven?  No, however, it is possible to be perfectly angry at a perfect God.  If we are angry, we need to recognize it and then we need to let go of the anger and forgive the God who has disappointed us. 

God sent Jesus to tell us how much God loves us and how willing God is to forgive us.  The question is, are we willing to forgive God.  

Anger destroys relationships.  Anger is an emotion that is very destructive of the inner person and can interfere with all our relationships.  The key to freedom is forgiveness.  May God give us the wisdom and the power to forgive one another, ourselves, and if necessary God. We need the freedom that forgiveness brings. Jesus came to set us free, we can only fully claim that freedom when we are able to forgive. Don’t let anger ruin your life. Be free to be who God created you to be. And remember the forgiveness that is a free gift given to you by the God of amazing grace. Amen

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